I'm not sure what to think of my visit to see Lisa, the therapist I was assigned to. I talked for approximately 50 minutes. She made the usual comments as I went along. At the end of my time, she told me that I was able to articulate my concerns and probably needed a stronger support system in regards to my son, which I seemed to be putting in place. She felt that my decisions about how much of a relationship with my family members is healthy for me was something I needed to trust my own judgement about. In dysfunctional families it may be healthy to be pushing members away. And, finally, she said that she felt that I did not need therapy. That I have a psychology degree and if I tell her that something is wrong with me, that she believes me. She suggested I talk to my M.D. about anti-anxiety medications until my appointment with the psychiatrist in December and that was the end of my therapy.
I feel more confident about my knowledge of myself ... and that means that I know enough to see that I am probably not capable of making any life altering judgement calls right now.
I don't think I am capable of the intimacy and that doesn't bother the men in my life because my husband is medicated with Risperidone for schizophrenia, my oldest son is bi-polar, and my youngest son is autistic. Only Becky feels the pain of a family incapable of being intimate with her. Which she equates to not loving her.
When my husband was in Afghanistan I often had a hard time sleeping. My mind would go places it shouldn't go as well. I found comfort in scripture and would often write down different verses that would help keep my mind focused on the Lord and not on the dark thoughts that would torment me. I pray that tonight you'll be able to do the same.
ReplyDeleteThank you, it has been helping some.
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