Holding Onto Anger

Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.  


This is a problem for me.  I'm jealous of the fact that both of my older kids prefer to spend time with my younger sister than with me.  It is petty and honestly, I want my kids to have some sort of family connection.  My sister has two teenage daughters, a big house with room to do things like have a Just Dance party.  I don't want to do that and every time we take Ben to family gatherings he has a melt down.  Too much stimulation.  Or he's too bored and acts out to get us to go home.  My older kids constantly criticize me and blame me for Ben's behavior.  Autism is no excuse for bad manners.  I hate the family gathering part of holidays as much as Ben does.  We had a quiet family Thanksgiving with just me, Ben, and Rick (my husband).   It was so much easier on my body because I didn't try to stand and prepare a huge amount of food.  I'm always drugged the day of the holiday and tend to ramble on and on.  I didn't need the drugs until the late afternoon of Thanksgiving this year.